Something people have been saying to me in many different ways has finally clicked: When you take a person seriously, they learn that they matter and they take themselves seriously. When people listen to what you say, they are showing you that what you say matters, that your words have meaning and power. You grow more sensitive to your inner voice, no longer unimportant and wrong, and find it's telling you what you need all the time - and when you listen to it, you find it's usually right, especially as you get better at it, and things like happiness and contentment and success are no longer so nebulous and unobtainable. Look at you! Self-sufficient and powerful.
I tend to regard things children say as whimsical, and to disregard things my peers say, replacing it with my own errant suppositions, and I think it's not a coincidence I have a history of flippantly regarding my own abilities and decisions.
Friday, March 27, 2015
Thursday, March 19, 2015
psychic
okay someone with linux likes my dumb blog. I'm assuming it's my mom. hi mom.
I went to a psychic, highly recommended, yesterday. The day before that I took the young hogman (RD Hogman) to see a veterinarian. In the much poorer aftermath I can't decide which one was a bigger scam. For RD, a lady did a three minute exam (he's great! just fine. what a healthy boy!) that was $48 and then disappeared into the back room with my little baby to $trim his nails and $two $other $tests I apparently authorized by not knowing what was going on. I guess this is normal.
With the psychic, highly recommended, I guess I am much lower than before. I am afraid to admit how excited I was to meet someone who had any concrete information about the world (since I always feel like I have none). But her system of ruse was apparent almost immediately, so I indulged her politely, even excessively, to help facilitate the show, prevent awkwardness. She's very charming and I wondered if she was disappointed in my gratuitousness even though it's what she was fishing for. The way we'd quietly prefer a kid who talks too much while the teacher is talking, a dog who is smart enough to run away, and a teenager who does dumb daring things.
Her system is as follows. I hope I get the opportunity to parody it very soon.
You ask about your future, she needs you to be more specific. Narrow it down to some choices.
She closes her eyes (to consult with your team of spiritual advisors and her interpretation of your energies)
She begins to smile and laugh and say:
oh my that is so interesting!
my goodness you are unique.
they are showing me an image of ______ ... Idk why, do you have any idea?
The last is fishing for more info, which she has an excellent memory for, by the way. A helpful person or a person who sees a psychic because they REALLY need answers is like "omg is the old man you're seeing my grandpa?" and she is like YES! He is nodding his head vigorously! He says he didn't want to interrupt. He misses you. He's doing fine- he can walk around now. He's patiently waiting for your grandma. Time passes differently there.
She carefully remembers who of your family is alive or dead (whatever way she purloined the info - by directly asking or by remembering when you talk about it as related to something else) and "taps into their energies" by mentioning some general stage of life stuff she probably learned while getting her doctorate in psychology. Eg, 'a. boyfriend in his late twenties - unsure of what he's doing with his life, perhaps? Wanting to make the next step but feeling like he needs to get everything in order first? b. Father with adult daughter - wondering if he spent his life the right way? Would love to hear his daughter's voice, even though he won't unload all his burdens on her... Tell your father he will partnered again. I don't know how he feels about taking guidance from a psychic...'
In all, her style was intended to affirm and instill confidence. She repeatedly said things like "wow, you are so supported. Your spirit guides watch everything you do. They say you have all the powers within you, you just need confidence to listen to your intuition and follow it." I suppose I appreciate that she doesn't want to make her clients emotionally dependent on her, nor forecast trauma and fear. I feel like most people I know are way too skeptical to even see her in the first place and especially pay her rate - cheap for a true psychic, outrageous for a hack. And I suppose that's how she keeps away people who won't tolerate a youngish blonde woman encouraging them with animal totems and welcoming those people who need them for reassurance and direction.
What now follows is my rough memory of what went down, heavily flavored by my sadness. And more exciting for me to read than anyone else, because we talked about me me me for an hour (on my dollar)
She offers me water, or tea. I say I'm fine. She wants to know what I need help with and I say my life is a confusing mess and I want to know what I should do with it. She's like do you mean your career? What options are you deciding between? I know there's a burning idea in there somewhere. I reluctantly tell her I will probably be some kind of teacher or writer because that's what everyone tells me I'm good at. I want to play music probably but I'm not a very good musician so likely story. She says she will have to take a moment of radio silence to tune into my energy and consult my spirit panel.
She closes her eyes for about ten seconds and smiles. "Wow," she says, opening her eyes and looking at me directly. "They are so bright - a bright white light all around you. They care about you so much. I have never seen anyone so guided and protected." (I mean who doesn't want to believe that?) "The first thing I see is that you will be well known. I see you teaching, definitely. Playing music but that is not the main aspect - you seem to give some kind of lecture.. and you're traveling. Learning about the places you go and teaching about them and playing their music. And you have a child you're traveling with. Your child." I'm like "hey that's pretty cool." She's like "but..the spirit guides say you have ideas already. They say you should listen to yourself because you can make those dreams come true. You just need to have confidence." (I told this to JT later who was like ughhh I say that to you all the time, I'm just gonna charge you $100 an hour next time. Then the psychic said "The spirits say you have another passion... a burning one. What is it?" "Well. I like to use my body. I imagine that will be part of my career." The psychic is like "YES. That's what they're showing me. You don't give that up, it somehow becomes PART of your career. You... you don't just play piano...?" I told her I play in calypso band, where I move a lot. "Yes! I saw people dancing to your music, but how is that possible with just piano? Also. I see kids. You're teaching kids. The spirit guides want me to give you some resources." She writes down a couple of names of natural movement instructors/leaders in the bay area. Wow, guides, how did you know to send me to colleagues of my psychic? Did you send me here too?¿?
I ask her if I can see who's on my spirit guide panel. I still really want to believe so I'm hoping she says my grandpa or something like that. But I also feel guilty for putting her on the spot when she's clearly bullshitting me, because that's my personality. But she seems excited so off she goes! Let me tune in, she says. Radio silence. "Wow. You have a huge spirit panel. There are eight people. I have never seen so many. They come and go, you know. The first two I'm seeing are animals. A giraffe and a raccoon. " "raccoons are scrappy," I say, to be more helpful about my personality. "yes, you can look up animal totems, I'm not familiar with these especially." She says, "is your.. is your mother still.. with us?" yes "and... her mother..?" yes "well.. I'm seeing them both as your guides.. how can that be?" I don't know why I said this but I was like "ha ha yeah I feel like we're the same person sometimes. Like we've.. been through together before, you know what I mean? Like I've been my mom's mom before you know." "OH MY GOSH yes you've all three been together MANY times before. You have been your grandmother's daughter and your mom's mom and you've all been sisters..."
My further spirit guides: "An old man is stepping forward. He has long white hair, and a long white beard. He says he was a teacher of yours.." I'm like, hmm. "He was with you in a past life and now wants to keep a special eye on you." I'm like "oh I guess that's mr. ribb, my high school latin teacher." (who kept his beard and hair close trimmed in good roman taste) "Yes, that's him. He says you assimilate information in such an interesting way. He says you should write more... Do you have a younger brother?" We deduce she feels this about my stepmom's kid and not about andrew. "He's a guide to your younger brother too. You'll see as he gets older." I message sorayasus to say to not let any old men with long white beards into the house and she says too late. Another spirit guide I have is a big woman with curly red hair called Luna. I give no clues of knowing who the hell this is so the psychic just goes off on her own telling me about her. How she's been with me since I was a little kid and she's the voice of my intuition. Creepy. But a big red headed clown lady sounds like a hoot. Luna also says there's another animal guide, an eagle. The psychic says "I know this one. It means leadership." I am uncomfortable perhaps because this spirit guide conversation is faltering, so at seven I give up and ask if I am going to marry JT. Basically she says "the spirit guides aren't showing me because they want to protect the delicacy of the situation." Then woman to woman, I'm sure, "follow your heart. He hasn't made up his mind about what to do with his life. He listens to every word you say, you know, even when he doesn't respond." (I'm like haha yeah I know *blush*) "If you go where your heart takes you, I see him following." (I'm like ahah yeah I know *blush*)
I'm basically out of material to be guided about, so I decide to tackle the real existential stuff. My apologies to the psychic for putting her thought out and possibly genuine answers in a nutshell.
1. Why are we reincarnated? "Our soul has more work to do deducing the nature of humanity. We have to keep coming back in many roles to understand the different natures of being a human."
2. Why can't we remember our past incarnations? "Because there may be past-life trauma that would be too stifling to remember. Although we do sometimes remember the trauma in our bodies. And children can remember past lives totally. There was this girl in India... (long story). Also, because remembering your pasty life would prevent this one from occurring in naturalness."
3. Do you ever have to deliver bad news to your clients? "Well sometimes I can see bad news and the person's guides are like 'please, don't tell them.' and I'm like 'really??? okay...' because they don't want to influence your life. Also when I deliver specific bad news, people tend to live up to them as facts - I'm writing my doctorate thesis on how cancer patients learn they have three weeks to live and die on the date they were told as if they were unchangeable. You know you have free will."
4. Are you in touch with your spirit guides? I mean obviously yes but what do they tell you? "Oh boy am I ever. I get into screaming matches with them sometimes! They have the patience of saints. They tell me to do stuff all the time and I ignore them."
I was absolutely worn out by this point in the hour, but she allowed a few more dead relatives to make visits. She mentioned a dog and I gave her the info and let her say daisy is happy and running around. "Possibly with someone else you both knew who died...?" no, I say. The other dead relatives not mentioned here for discretion.
She closed with, "remember you are so. strongly. guided. You don't need to know where you're going, just follow one step laid out for you at a time - your heart knows the way. Remember that a car driving at night only has to see what the headlights have laid out to drive safely."
So anyway I am now giving psychic/spiritual guided counseling for half the rate if you want to visit me. My spiritual powers have been awoken in full and I feel strongly that I can access the powers that surround you to assure you that you are still alive until you are dead.
I went to a psychic, highly recommended, yesterday. The day before that I took the young hogman (RD Hogman) to see a veterinarian. In the much poorer aftermath I can't decide which one was a bigger scam. For RD, a lady did a three minute exam (he's great! just fine. what a healthy boy!) that was $48 and then disappeared into the back room with my little baby to $trim his nails and $two $other $tests I apparently authorized by not knowing what was going on. I guess this is normal.
With the psychic, highly recommended, I guess I am much lower than before. I am afraid to admit how excited I was to meet someone who had any concrete information about the world (since I always feel like I have none). But her system of ruse was apparent almost immediately, so I indulged her politely, even excessively, to help facilitate the show, prevent awkwardness. She's very charming and I wondered if she was disappointed in my gratuitousness even though it's what she was fishing for. The way we'd quietly prefer a kid who talks too much while the teacher is talking, a dog who is smart enough to run away, and a teenager who does dumb daring things.
Her system is as follows. I hope I get the opportunity to parody it very soon.
You ask about your future, she needs you to be more specific. Narrow it down to some choices.
She closes her eyes (to consult with your team of spiritual advisors and her interpretation of your energies)
She begins to smile and laugh and say:
oh my that is so interesting!
my goodness you are unique.
they are showing me an image of ______ ... Idk why, do you have any idea?
The last is fishing for more info, which she has an excellent memory for, by the way. A helpful person or a person who sees a psychic because they REALLY need answers is like "omg is the old man you're seeing my grandpa?" and she is like YES! He is nodding his head vigorously! He says he didn't want to interrupt. He misses you. He's doing fine- he can walk around now. He's patiently waiting for your grandma. Time passes differently there.
She carefully remembers who of your family is alive or dead (whatever way she purloined the info - by directly asking or by remembering when you talk about it as related to something else) and "taps into their energies" by mentioning some general stage of life stuff she probably learned while getting her doctorate in psychology. Eg, 'a. boyfriend in his late twenties - unsure of what he's doing with his life, perhaps? Wanting to make the next step but feeling like he needs to get everything in order first? b. Father with adult daughter - wondering if he spent his life the right way? Would love to hear his daughter's voice, even though he won't unload all his burdens on her... Tell your father he will partnered again. I don't know how he feels about taking guidance from a psychic...'
In all, her style was intended to affirm and instill confidence. She repeatedly said things like "wow, you are so supported. Your spirit guides watch everything you do. They say you have all the powers within you, you just need confidence to listen to your intuition and follow it." I suppose I appreciate that she doesn't want to make her clients emotionally dependent on her, nor forecast trauma and fear. I feel like most people I know are way too skeptical to even see her in the first place and especially pay her rate - cheap for a true psychic, outrageous for a hack. And I suppose that's how she keeps away people who won't tolerate a youngish blonde woman encouraging them with animal totems and welcoming those people who need them for reassurance and direction.
What now follows is my rough memory of what went down, heavily flavored by my sadness. And more exciting for me to read than anyone else, because we talked about me me me for an hour (on my dollar)
She offers me water, or tea. I say I'm fine. She wants to know what I need help with and I say my life is a confusing mess and I want to know what I should do with it. She's like do you mean your career? What options are you deciding between? I know there's a burning idea in there somewhere. I reluctantly tell her I will probably be some kind of teacher or writer because that's what everyone tells me I'm good at. I want to play music probably but I'm not a very good musician so likely story. She says she will have to take a moment of radio silence to tune into my energy and consult my spirit panel.
She closes her eyes for about ten seconds and smiles. "Wow," she says, opening her eyes and looking at me directly. "They are so bright - a bright white light all around you. They care about you so much. I have never seen anyone so guided and protected." (I mean who doesn't want to believe that?) "The first thing I see is that you will be well known. I see you teaching, definitely. Playing music but that is not the main aspect - you seem to give some kind of lecture.. and you're traveling. Learning about the places you go and teaching about them and playing their music. And you have a child you're traveling with. Your child." I'm like "hey that's pretty cool." She's like "but..the spirit guides say you have ideas already. They say you should listen to yourself because you can make those dreams come true. You just need to have confidence." (I told this to JT later who was like ughhh I say that to you all the time, I'm just gonna charge you $100 an hour next time. Then the psychic said "The spirits say you have another passion... a burning one. What is it?" "Well. I like to use my body. I imagine that will be part of my career." The psychic is like "YES. That's what they're showing me. You don't give that up, it somehow becomes PART of your career. You... you don't just play piano...?" I told her I play in calypso band, where I move a lot. "Yes! I saw people dancing to your music, but how is that possible with just piano? Also. I see kids. You're teaching kids. The spirit guides want me to give you some resources." She writes down a couple of names of natural movement instructors/leaders in the bay area. Wow, guides, how did you know to send me to colleagues of my psychic? Did you send me here too?¿?
I ask her if I can see who's on my spirit guide panel. I still really want to believe so I'm hoping she says my grandpa or something like that. But I also feel guilty for putting her on the spot when she's clearly bullshitting me, because that's my personality. But she seems excited so off she goes! Let me tune in, she says. Radio silence. "Wow. You have a huge spirit panel. There are eight people. I have never seen so many. They come and go, you know. The first two I'm seeing are animals. A giraffe and a raccoon. " "raccoons are scrappy," I say, to be more helpful about my personality. "yes, you can look up animal totems, I'm not familiar with these especially." She says, "is your.. is your mother still.. with us?" yes "and... her mother..?" yes "well.. I'm seeing them both as your guides.. how can that be?" I don't know why I said this but I was like "ha ha yeah I feel like we're the same person sometimes. Like we've.. been through together before, you know what I mean? Like I've been my mom's mom before you know." "OH MY GOSH yes you've all three been together MANY times before. You have been your grandmother's daughter and your mom's mom and you've all been sisters..."
My further spirit guides: "An old man is stepping forward. He has long white hair, and a long white beard. He says he was a teacher of yours.." I'm like, hmm. "He was with you in a past life and now wants to keep a special eye on you." I'm like "oh I guess that's mr. ribb, my high school latin teacher." (who kept his beard and hair close trimmed in good roman taste) "Yes, that's him. He says you assimilate information in such an interesting way. He says you should write more... Do you have a younger brother?" We deduce she feels this about my stepmom's kid and not about andrew. "He's a guide to your younger brother too. You'll see as he gets older." I message sorayasus to say to not let any old men with long white beards into the house and she says too late. Another spirit guide I have is a big woman with curly red hair called Luna. I give no clues of knowing who the hell this is so the psychic just goes off on her own telling me about her. How she's been with me since I was a little kid and she's the voice of my intuition. Creepy. But a big red headed clown lady sounds like a hoot. Luna also says there's another animal guide, an eagle. The psychic says "I know this one. It means leadership." I am uncomfortable perhaps because this spirit guide conversation is faltering, so at seven I give up and ask if I am going to marry JT. Basically she says "the spirit guides aren't showing me because they want to protect the delicacy of the situation." Then woman to woman, I'm sure, "follow your heart. He hasn't made up his mind about what to do with his life. He listens to every word you say, you know, even when he doesn't respond." (I'm like haha yeah I know *blush*) "If you go where your heart takes you, I see him following." (I'm like ahah yeah I know *blush*)
I'm basically out of material to be guided about, so I decide to tackle the real existential stuff. My apologies to the psychic for putting her thought out and possibly genuine answers in a nutshell.
1. Why are we reincarnated? "Our soul has more work to do deducing the nature of humanity. We have to keep coming back in many roles to understand the different natures of being a human."
2. Why can't we remember our past incarnations? "Because there may be past-life trauma that would be too stifling to remember. Although we do sometimes remember the trauma in our bodies. And children can remember past lives totally. There was this girl in India... (long story). Also, because remembering your pasty life would prevent this one from occurring in naturalness."
3. Do you ever have to deliver bad news to your clients? "Well sometimes I can see bad news and the person's guides are like 'please, don't tell them.' and I'm like 'really??? okay...' because they don't want to influence your life. Also when I deliver specific bad news, people tend to live up to them as facts - I'm writing my doctorate thesis on how cancer patients learn they have three weeks to live and die on the date they were told as if they were unchangeable. You know you have free will."
4. Are you in touch with your spirit guides? I mean obviously yes but what do they tell you? "Oh boy am I ever. I get into screaming matches with them sometimes! They have the patience of saints. They tell me to do stuff all the time and I ignore them."
I was absolutely worn out by this point in the hour, but she allowed a few more dead relatives to make visits. She mentioned a dog and I gave her the info and let her say daisy is happy and running around. "Possibly with someone else you both knew who died...?" no, I say. The other dead relatives not mentioned here for discretion.
She closed with, "remember you are so. strongly. guided. You don't need to know where you're going, just follow one step laid out for you at a time - your heart knows the way. Remember that a car driving at night only has to see what the headlights have laid out to drive safely."
So anyway I am now giving psychic/spiritual guided counseling for half the rate if you want to visit me. My spiritual powers have been awoken in full and I feel strongly that I can access the powers that surround you to assure you that you are still alive until you are dead.
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